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Wednesday, March 30, 2005

I am the Greatest Person Currently Living on the Planet Earth

So, tonight at Wal-Mart, I thought, "How on Earth do I not have a girlfriend?-look at how cool I am. Look at what I have in this buggie: Apples, Mangoes, Kiwis, five different flavors of yogurt, Beck, Blind Boys of Alabama, Buffy! I am so cool, it is not even funny." And good-looking girls: The pic I put up yesterday is me after working all day outside in the swamp-if you saw a glamour shot of me and my sweet fro and rougish stubble, you would fall down on yourself. I should have just received a spontaneously materialized girlfriend on the spot, tonight, in that store.
Then, I remembered that time a man told me that God told him to tell me, "I see the word 'mate', and I see age 29," and that seemed really silly, and I do think it is silly, but then, tonight, God told someone to give me $50, and they did, and that did not seem silly at all, and then, that reminded me of the time six or seven months ago I think God told me (yes, I think He talks to me-aren't I crazy!) "Buy the Over the Rhine CD 'Ohio', it will change your life," and I did, and I didn't care for it at all, and I was like, "Why did I buy this?" but then, tonight, I realized, "Hey, Jeffrey Overstreet seems like a nice guy, but I sure hate how he always says things like, "We feel" in his movie reviews, because I always think, "Hey buddy, I've never had a collective feeling in my life," and he really, really likes Over the Rhine, but I don't care for them at all, and then I realized, after 23 years, I have finally become my own person, and I know what I like, and I know why I like it, and I don't want anyone to congratulate me for being my own person, because I think that is patronizing, and also, in my mind, I think that no one knows who they are, except for me, because that is the kind of ego that I have, and you have just had a sneak view inside the crazy twisted paths that my consciousness takes, and I hope you enjoyed every second of it, but truth be told, I don't care, because I enjoyed every second of it, and that is enough for me.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Lookin Rough

So, old Meche has chopped off his fro. This sets the stage for me to take over and dominate.
Yes, this is what I look like, now, and this is after college. Yikes!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

The Real Easter Bunny

If some twelve-year old kid messes with this bunny, he is going to get dealt with. Fats is the man.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

The Rant is Here

When I was seventeen years old, two kids in Colorado killed a whole lot of people, and then killed themselves. This sent the country into an uproar (as if you don't remember). Six years later, a school shooting isn't even the headline. But it's still news. I'm sure everyone knows about, but here:

or just google: Red Lake shooting

Anyway, to sum it up, a 16-year old boy has carried out the worst American school shooting since Columbine. First, I would like to say, of course, this is a terrible, terrible tragedy, and I am not making light of it one bit. Secondly, I am going to try to cut the profanity with this rant, but it is going to be hard. Here is my deal:

After Columbine, the media scraped all over the bottom of an empty barrel trying to figure out why Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed twelve classmates and a teacher at Columbine High School. The best solution they could come up with? Eric and Dylan played the video game Doom. They listened to heavy metal. They wore trenchcoats. Jeff Weise, the Red Lake murderer did some of the same things. Here's the kicker though, and this is crazy, I mean just absolutely crazy. Millions of children across the country play video games that make Doom look like Mr. Rodgers Puppy Hour and listen to Heavy Metal. Last night, I killed over 200 zombies in Resident Evil Four, and I was listening to Heavy Metal. I also think trenchcoats look cool. Today, a friend and I, along with my brother, went behind my house and target practiced with a pistol. Do you know how many people I've seriously thought about killing? None. Not even myself. Isn't that just the darnedest thing? I can do all of those things, and not ever want to kill anybody. In fact, I'm willing to say, I have always been pretty happy with my life, and don't have a hard time getting along with others. There must be something wrong with me. Wait...maybe there isn't. Maybe I am just fine, a normal guy. Does that mean all those high-school shooters were not normal?


Why is everyone obsessed with all these external sources? Do they really have anything to do with anything? They may feed the fire, but they are not the fire .
First, some people are just disturbed. This isn't an excuse to kill, but it is a fact. Some people are just mentally imbalanced. This can be controlled with effort. I am a bit disturbed myself, what with my migraine condition (caused mainly by anxiety) and all, but about the worst this has caused me to do is hurt people's ears by groaning loudly. There are mental problems much worse than what I have, though Weise was never proven to really have any of these outside of depression.
Weise was on prozac, and some people say high doses of this cause bouts of aggression, but, there was a reason he was on prozac (and I am not damning prozac uses in the least, I know plenty of just fine people who have to take pills for anxiety and depression, and while I don't recommend this, I don't damn others for doing so).
Where were the parents? In regards to Columbine, it's awfully easy to lay all the blame on them, but that's unfair-they weren't the ones who pulled the trigger. In the Weise case, his father committed suicide. I'm sure this added to Weise's mental state, and was probably one of the driving forces in his life. Considering the father committed suicide in 1997, we can guess that Weise probably did not have the happiest childhood, beforehand. According to Weise's writings, his mother also allegedly often got drunk and beat him (she lives in a nursing home, now, because of a car accident six years ago), though this is not substantiated. Weise was also passed around from relative to relative in a fashion that surely made him feel unwanted.
A lot of people are pointing out the fact that Harris, Klebold, and Weise were all drawn to Hitler and Neo-nazism. Here is where I make my point-These three kids didn't just decide out of the blue, "Hey, I know, I love Hitler." Something drove them to that point. Something drove them to a point where video games, which 99.infinite 9 percent of the population know are video games seem real. Something drove them to overidentify with the ridiculous lyrics of bands making money from acting like they're miserable. Something drove these kids to this-everything.
I saw a reporter on CBS say something about how police, and everyone else were going to try to find out why this shooting has happened. This guy seems to be missing the point. Killing seven innocent people is a senseless act. You can't just point your finger at Duke Nukem, and heap all the blame on him. As I said in an editorial, almost six years ago: I don't think dissing Mario is the answer.
I think it's safe to say that blaming music, movies, and video games for anything is pretty much ridiculous. Take the kid who cooked gasoline as an example. He saw it on Beavis and Butthead. A. Why was the child watching Beavis and Butthead?
B. Why did the child have access to gasoline?
C. Why did the child not know that cooking gasoline would kill him?
If your kid jumps off a cliff, you can't blame the roadrunner.
But this kid Weise didn't have sensible parents around. They may have hurt him, but they were long gone by the time of the shooting. Who then do we blame? Was it his extended family's fault? Could they have done a better job of looking after him? What about the teachers, therapists, and counselors in his life. Surely, someone should have got the idea into Weise's head that it is not right to shoot people. What about classmates and others who witnessed Weise's behavior, but said nothing of it? What about the kids who made fun of him for being too tall, too fat, or dressing weird? When you boil it down, you're going to need a small army of fingers to point out all the people and mediums that might be at fault.
The fault should only lie on one person-Jeff Weise. He lived in a society that teaches murder is wrong. Murder is the offense with the highest punishment. How can you punish a guy that commits suicide?
Maybe Weise didn't realize that what he was doing was even wrong. If this is true, should the fault lay on society? Does the world we live in not teach us right from wrong? Wouldn't an alien being learn soon enough what is right, and what is wrong? Maybe it would not? If this is true, are we all to blame? I know this is difficult, but are we all collectively at fault? I don't know, and I don't like to think about it, honestly. I know one thing. No one is ever going to be able to point the finger at one factor and heap all the blame on it as the cause for all these tragedies. It's simply not going to happen. Can Christians who believe in an intervening God tell me why this happened? I'm one of you, and I can't.
I can't even explain the factors that led to what I ate for dinner, why I'm writing this blog, and why I'm sitting in this position, right now. You would have to go back to the beginning. Why did my parents choose to have unprotected sex during the exact month that I was the egg of choice? Why did my parents even meet in the first place? Why didn't my ancestors settle in a place with less mosquitos? This whole Red Falls incident took place on a Native American refuge. Should we go all the way back to the Andrew Jackson administration and blame Manifest Destiny? What the heck am I even talking about, anymore?
This was supposed to be a rant against people who want to simplify everything down into a nice simple package. I hate the Bush Administration and voted for Kerry, yet today I enjoyed my right to bear arms. What does that say? Something just about everybody who reads this knows already. You can't put things into little boxes. An infinite amount of variables coincided in this great terrible crazy thing called life, and led to Jeff Weise killing seven people, all presided over by a Ringmaster I can't say I understand twenty-five percent of the time (yet, I still think this God loves me, and wants the best for me). All those variables led to the creation of a human being named Jeff Weise who woke up one morning, killed his grandfather and his grandfather's girlfriend, and seven others. All those variables led to a point were a cognizant human being just like you or I put his finger on the trigger and pulled. Right now, I am sitting in a chair staring out at the rain. My parents are in the kitchen talking (probably about why their 23-year-old son is still living with them). I am listening to Explosions in the Sky. Why? What led to this? These are the kinds of questions few people want to ask. The news wants to cover the same three stories every night, giving simple storybook answers to people, because that's what people want to hear. Meanwhile, people in Sudan are being murdered, millions in Africa are being infected with AIDS, the Middle East is yet again undergoing major changes, and our President's plan to defile one of the last untouched sanctuaries in the world is finally underway.
The world is vast and limitless. It always seems to be changing at an uncontrollable rate. Surely, the people shot on March 14 weren't expecting to die. They probably had plans to do a million things in life, but a bunch of converging variables wiped their plans out in an instant.
I would love to follow Lyrnyrd Skynyrd's mother's advice and be a simple kind of man, and I guess that's the best thing anybody can do, but there are so many things going on.
I have the reassurance that if I am cut down by a stray bullet, I am going to a better place, but I wouldn't be much of a human being if I just stayed content with waiting to randomly die.
The Red Lake school shooting is about as messed up(see, I'm reformed) as you can get, but it happened, and it will probably happen again, and the best thing I can do is live a life of love, and try to love others, and when whatever bullet hits me, stray or aimed, die.
If you look at life one way, there is no thing as a stray bullet, but if you look at it another way, there is nothing in the world but stray bullets, and somehow, it seems, it doesn't matter which way you look at, but in the end, it makes all the difference.
All of this is as new to you as it is to me. I certainly wasn't expecting to learn something in the last hour, but, I did, though maybe you didn't. Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you can get some rest now that you have spent an entire day reading my blog entry.
God bless everyone, I am going to bed.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

An Un-American Rant

So, anyway, I haven't ranted in a while. I'm sure you have all been contemplating the knife while I was gone. Well, I'm back (again) baby!
So, my dad is a crawfisherman, and I help out sometimes(this rant gets much bigger in scope, I promise). Everytime someone comes to pick up crawfish, they ask, "These are really big, right? I only want big ones! Are these big? I just want big ones." It is common knowledge to most people who boil crawfish that big crawfish do not take seasoning (i.e. it's hard to impossible to give em flavor). Large crawfish, on the average, also have less fat, which aparently makes them less tasty. What you really want are medium-sized crawfish, which you can work wonders with. Well, if this is common knowledge, why does everyone still ask for only big crawfish? My dad said it all:

Pops: "They don't want the car. They want the SUV."
Nicholas: "Yeah, they want the Humvee."
Pops: "Doesn't matter if it gets three miles to the gallon, and ain't worth shit."
Nicholas: "Yep."
Pops: "They want the big ones."
Nicholas: "It's the American way."
Pops: "Yep (makes obscure Simpsons' reference I can't remember).
Nicholas: 'Yep."
Pops: "Here, I've been saving a millions dollars for a rainy day. Don't spend it all in one place.
Nicholas: "Sweet."

So, this rant is pretty self explanatory. America is known for the eight pound cheeseburger that could gag a horse, but dammit, make it bigger. Why? I haven't heard of any science brief about Americans having small penises, so what are we making up for? No, really, I don't know. Somebody tell me. I'll hug you if you do (in my imagination).
Also, while we're on the subject of SUV, gas cost more than a breast implant, right now. There's a surplus of gas, but still, we Americans are being raped. Meanwhile, El Presidente W is going around the country pushing a social security agenda that
A. Doesn't make sense, and
B. Addresses a crisis that won't affect America for another forty years.

Why? Why isn't he talking about the gas prices? He is refered to as the Texas Oilman. Is he in bed with the folks that are getting rich off of us, right now? Once again, if someone can tell me the answer, I'll draw a picture of us hugging. Seriously. What is up with this crazy place? I'm all for a huge drop in American gas consumption (we are hogging it all), and I am a big advocate of gas-electric hybrid vehicles, but really, why is no one, especially the government, trying to make the price of gas go down?
Goods have to be brought somewhere, thus the price of everything is going to go up, meaning inflation, meaning we are all going to be screwed, right now, as opposed to the Social Security "crisis", which won't take effect for about a half a century, if ever.
I don't get it.
me. Have a good Saturday night. I will, if I can just take a power nap, first. Or, I could be a machine and do without it...maybe I should eat more ice cream, the more the better, with sprinkles on top...big ones, only big ones.