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Monday, November 28, 2005

A Strange Turn of Events

Okay, this is just too weird:
My favorite CD released so far this year is by Coldplay, I'm seriously thinking of converting to the Episcopal Church, and there's nothing more I want to do right now than be in school.
Wuh?

ARGH!

I just spent four hours on my new my space account for no good reason.
The suckiest part is I actually have three or four very interesting/controversial things to blog about, and I have blown them all off.
So in conclusion, MySpace is bad.
But oh dear, how I love it.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I have a song up!!!

I have a song up!!! I have a song up!!!!!!!
HERE
Special thanks to Jordan for his advice and for recording this thing for me on his sweet Fostex!
Be patient...it starts with some seconds of silence, and you'll need to turn it up.
Hope it doesn't make blood run out your ears.
Also, check out the post I wrote under this. It is awesome!!!
WHEEEEE!!!

Just another reason to find Scientology absolutely ridiculous

Hi. Let me re-cap last night's South Park episode.
Wait? You hate South Park?
That's okay, listen to my ramblings anyway...
Stan, (the kid in red and blue) passes by a "survey" table. It actually turns out to be a Dianetics (Scientology) table. Stan, who is perfectly normal and happy, is given a survey, and told that he is very depressed. As Stan is only in the second grade, he of course believes the survey. He is later tested by the Scientologists for "thetans" and when his "thetan" count is unnaturally high, he is told he is the re-incarnation of L. Ron Hubbard (Science Fiction author/founder of Scientology). Stan's house is then bombarded by Scientologists who want to see their re-incarnated leader. Of course, John Travolta is there, but a certain someone is missing-that is until Stan goes up to his bedroom. You know who's waiting. Yep. It's Tom Cruise. Tom, looking for acceptance from Stan, asks for Stan's opinion. Stan tells Tom that he is an okay actor, but not that great, at least not as good as"Leonardo diCaprio...or that kid from Napoleon Dynamite." Tom Cruise, crushed, turns around, and locks himself in...the closet. Can you see where this is going?
"Come out of the closet, Tom" Stan and his parents beg. Tom won't budge. Soon, news crews are there. "Ladies and Gentleman," says the reporter, "Tom Cruise absolutely refuses to come out of the closet!" Travolta tries to get Tom to come out of the closet, but then goes in, too. Of course, a certain R & B star comes to sing about the proceedings...if you've been following pop culture much, you can probably guess that it is R. Kelly, fresh off his (brilliant?) "Trapped in the Closet" series of songs and videos. This is genius.
Meanwhile, Stan is shown what many scientologists only get to see after years (and a certain amount of money)-the secrets of Scientology. What follows is absolutely ridiculous: a short film that begins 75 million years ago. In the film, we meet Xenu, a galactic lord who thinks certain planets are overpopulated with certain types of beings. Xenu puts these beings in spaceships that look like modern jets, and takes them to the planet Teegeeack, a.k.a. Earth. He then takes their frozen bodies, stacks them around volcanoes and sets off hydrogen bombs and? makes them watch brain-washing videos. The beings, a.k.a. "thetans" then enter into the humans on Earth as parasites, which can now thankfully be removed with current Scientology techinques. Halfway through the film, a message that says "This is what Scientologists really believe" pops up and stays there for the remainder of the "secret" film.
The scary thing? This really is what Scientologists believe. Don't believe me?
Here
The episode ends when a leading Scientologist reveals to Stan that Scientology is just a lie to make money. Stan tries to go along with it, by giving a speech to a huge crowd of Scientologists that will re-affirm their beliefs. However, Stan finds he can't go through with it, and tells the crowd the truth. The crowd's response is to yell, "We'll sue you!"
"Fine!" yells Stan, alone, and tiny behind a huge podium.
"We will!" yells the crowd, filling the screen.
"Fine! Sue me!"
"Oh, we will, we're gonna sue you!"
"Do it! Sue me!"
"Oh, we will!"
"Fine! Do it!"
"We're going to sue you!"
"Fine! Fine! Go ahead! Sue me!"
I am guessing this scene is a commentary on Scientology's harsh response to critics.
Oh, and Tom Cruise?
Unfortunately, he never comes out of the closet.

Friday, November 11, 2005

ALERT!!!

This is a Fox News Alert:
Somewhere, right now, some mundane miscellaneous activity which has no bearing on your well being and no effect on your life whatsoever is currently occuring.
PANIC!!!
Stay tuned through this commercial break, when we bring the next alert, which may or may not involve a missing white girl, a theoretical apocalypse, or tonight's Fox News programming.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Modern Times...or Moron Times?

Well, I'm back from the blue with a rant. Rejoice!...or not...
Anyone who read this blog last winter may have come across my rant on the confederate flag. To sum that rant up in a nutshell: I hate the confederate flag. I don't think it stands for anything worth being proud for. I think all arguments for its display are moronic and lack any form of logic or substance that stands for anything good.
Anyway, my ex-college campus, Lousiana State University, has been in an uproar lately. A few years back, someone introduced a confederate flag cast in the LSU colors, purple and gold, and several Tiger (LSU) fans began to 'proudly' display the flag at football games. You can see a picture of this flag, along with some wacky redesigns (and good fun) on this post at my good friend Meche's blog. Don't get mad, Meche, I am giving your sweet skills some advertisement. Notice I didn't say free advertisement...

Obviously, most African Americans (and most sensitive and modern-thinking white folks/all other races) are offended by this flag. And they should be. There have been protest marches against the flag every Saturday for the last few weeks.
This flag is obviously ridiculously offensive. The fans who fly it claim that it combines two things they love: the South and LSU.
Here is a thought (I have previously stated on the Meche's blog): Has anyone ever looked at someone holding up an LSU flag and thought:
"Gee, that sure is nice that they have LSU pride, but do they have Southern pride?"
Hmm... I don't know. I guess it is possible that someone could love the flagship University of a deep South state, yet hate the south...but really, lets cut the bullshit out of the argument. Of course someone who loves LSU is most probably a big fan of the South. So why tarnish the good old purple and gold with the hate-symbolizing 'rebel' flag? Why set race relations back with something so imbecillic? There are many other ways to show 'Southern' and LSU pride at the same time. Put purple food coloring in your crawfish boil, then throw some lemons on top when you are done. Wear a purple and gold shirt that says, "I Love the South." Or get even more home-centric and wear a purple and gold shirt that says, "Louisiana Proud!" I still don't get why we have to be so regional about everything, but I can see reasons for it. I mean, we (Citizens of Southern U.S. states) are often looked down upon, which gives us a feeling of unity, I guess. You are much more likely to hear a joke about a Southern person than say, someone from Wyoming. And speaking about people from the South as if they are complete idiots is still pretty popular and accepted these days. I would find this dissing of my home area and people quite offensive (and indeed, it does piss me off), but for one thing:
Idiots keep doing things like flying Confederate flags colored purple and gold, and get all hot, bothered, and angry when someone tells them they are offended by it.
Argh!!!
Stop giving people even more reason to disrespect us!
You are not bringing any honor to the South!
You are bringing shame!
Stop it!!!
Seriously.
Anyway...
I am apparently particularly fond of the colon today. The punctuation mark, not the body part. Not that I have anything against colons.