I am learning that more than anything, being a dad is about selflessness. It doesn't mean that I don't matter. Frankly, I find that when people tell me "you don't matter anymore" they sound quite obnoxious. Of course I still matter. I matter more than I ever have before. I am a father now. Of course I still have dreams, goals, and wants, and that is important to remember. If I just forget that, then I turn into a soulless automaton. But now I have responsibility, and I am an adult with a newborn and a wife nursing him, and right now, they come first.
I think as I get older I am realizing that old "Seasons" song is extremely accurate. Sometimes your life isn't about you, but then sometimes it is. But in the future, does fulfilling my goals benefit my family? Does everything I do have to benefit my family? What about things that aren't harmful, but not beneficial?
I don't know. I am just figuring this out as I going along. I'm actually probably not over thinking things as much as this post implies. Just brain venting. Goodnight.