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Friday, July 29, 2011

Hasn't the Government Ever Played Civilization?

There is so much ridiculous crap going back and forth between both political parties (or three if you count that weird beverage offshoot) right now. One party acts like if we tax any person that makes more than $100,000 one more penny, they will move to China and never spend another penny in the U.S. again. They also act like if we tax McDonald's another penny, they will raise the price of a quarter pounder to $38.00. News flash, idiots: rich people will still spend just as much money if they get taxed a little more. Their purses won't grow magical chastity belts that magically take away their power to spend any money that they make.
Also, last time I checked, most major U.S. corporations aren't the ones hurting for money right now (don't use book or video-rental stores as examples!). If they get taxed a little more and raise prices inordinately, do you know why we won't be screwed? Because they are at OUR mercy, not the other way around! Stop acting like weiners! If they raise prices unfairly, we just WON'T BUY THEIR CRAP!!! If McDonald's raises the price of a quarter pounder to $38, everyone will just have to go to Burger King until McDonald's realizes this $38 burger thing isn't working out too well.
And idiots on the other side: this isn't World War II! You can't spend a bunch of freaking money you don't have. If you borrow $6,000,000,000,000 from China, you don't get 6,000,000,000,000 magic American dollars. You just now owe China $6,000,000,000,000!
Haven't you morons ever played the game Civilization? If you had had normal upbringings and a normal psychological make-up like the rest of us, you probably would have. And if you would have, you would know that when things go to crap, there is always one surefire way to fix them:
RAISE TAXES. CUT SPENDING.
There. Magic. I just figured the whole thing out for you. If my allowance is $5 a week, and I spend $4 a week, I get + one dollars a week.
HOW FREAKING SIMPLE IS THAT???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Why do we elect you idiots anyway?
And here are a bunch of phrases to make this post get picked up by search engines:
What's wrong with the government?
What's wrong with America?
What's wrong with our politicians?
How to fix the economy.
How to fix America.
How to fix everything.
Boobs.
Varginas (you have no idea how many people somehow stumble upon this blog by typing that word into Google. I have no idea why. As far as I know, this post is the first mention of "Varginas" on The Nicsperiment).

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

i love this post. i will make charlie read it now.

Nicholas said...

Thanks! This whole thing makes me so mad!