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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Surgeon General's Warnings Go Unheeded/A Strange and Incredible Coincidence No One Will Care About But Me

Last night I was thinking, Here I am at a Dredg show, and this sure would be nice except for one thing: all that horrible smoke in the air. What is causing that? Wait--everybody in here is smoking. Don't cigarettes cause cancer, various other diseases, and premature aging? Don't they create a horrible stink that covers everything around them? Yes, they do. And yet, why are all the 20somethings in here smoking when they should know better?
I don't really get how so many people can smoke cigarettes in this day and age. The packages they come in essentially say: THIS WILL KILL YOU. The guy standing in front of me, who was already shaking his long hair out repeatedly in my face in an irritating fashion, attempted to smoke and headbang at the same time. The cigarette flipped over and burnt his cheek, causing him to cry out and rub his face repeatedly...then he proceeded to pick his quarter-remaining cigarette up off the disgusting, foul-drenched floor, put it back in his mouth, and finish it. I never need to come up with an exaggerated image of how dumb smoking is because that guy did it for me.
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How strange that three days after my first sleep paralysis event in nearly four years, Dredg comes to my town. Funny to read that old post and once again see how much my spiritual beliefs have come back around. Not that I ever left behind the Main Points. Just a few of the details.

Monday, April 20, 2009

On the Tenth Anniversary of a Terrible Event

Ten years ago today Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into their high school and killed 15 people including themselves. They injured another 24. After ten years, many of the myths surrounding Columbine have been dispelled. After the event in which my generation, in effect, lost its innocence, people looked for simplistic, knee-jerk causes. Many people pointed out the fact that Harris and Klebold enjoyed playing 1st-Person shooter video games, listening to heavy metal music, and wearing black. On April 20th, 1999, I also enjoyed all three of those things. To a certain extent, I still do. Knowing that despite having these things in common with the killers, I did not want to kill anyone, and angered by the idiotic things I heard all around me about these interests, I wrote an angry editorial for my high-school paper, riffing on the stupidity of blaming such a horribly complex event on such simplistic near non-factors. Six years later, following the Red Cloud High School masacre, I blogged about school shootings here. I feel like I've matured in my opinions since that blog post, and you probably shouldn't read it simply because it is about ten pages long, but I basically said the same thing: while outside factors may have mattered a miniscule amout, the bottom line was that Harris and Klebold were two extremely disturbed individuals who would have acted out regardless. A year after posting that, I read The Sociopath Next Door, by Martha Stout. After reading that I immediately concluded that Harris had to have been a sociopath, and current retrospective reports seem to conclude the same. Current reports also conclude that Klebold was a Depressive, which I don't really know much of, but intend to read more about to grasp. For some reason I feel like I have to understand this event...it's haunted me and often entered my thoughts in the last ten years...though I think I agree with my own conclusion four years ago: God is in control...and certain things will never be understood while we are on this Earth.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Chuck Norris is No Longer Cool/Smiles

I have always had a fondness for the ridiculousness of Chuck Norris. Every now and then my friends and I would watch episodes of Walker Texas Ranger for a laugh, hoping that Norris would pummel his foes as harshly as possible. One time he kicked a guy in the face 7 (SEVEN!) uncontested times before finally kicking him an eighth time through a window. It is weird the word "eighth" has two H's.
Chuck Norris recently did something I did not find too cool. He announced that should Texas secede from America, he would run for president. Of Texas. Thinking this another hilarious joke only adding to the legend of Chuck Norris, I read his editorial.
Sadly, Chuck is not joking but is absolutely serious.
This reminded me of Ann Coulter, who I once swore I would never mention again. She wrote a book called Treason. She says, and I'm sure others who have views similar to Chuck Norris agree, that Iraq war protesters and dissenters, among many others, were behaving in a treasonous way.
So talking about seceding isn't?
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Sorry I've been so political lately, but at least I'm not in a bad mood anymore. I'm going to be a father!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Drunken Temper

This morning, NPR broadcasted a story about a guy who had invented an IPhone application to prevent people from drunk-texting people they would later regret drunk-texting. The inventor did this because his own drunk-texting had gotten so out of hand, he could not even be trusted with a phone.
If you find that every weekend you are getting so drunk you are accidentally sending booty-call texts to your own father, here is an idea, and bare with me because it is complex:

STOP GETTING DRUNK, IDIOT!

The above story almost caused me to swerve my car onto the sidewalk in an attempt to hit a puppy or kitten. For the past few weeks I have found everything I encounter is either stressing me out or pissing me off. Maybe it is this whole impending dad thing. If you think of me and are so inclined, please pray for me.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Losing Is No Fun/Egos the Size of Cathedrals

I can't lie. It is not fun to lose. Losing tends to bring out the worst in us. It can turn us into whiny babies. Losing in politics is no exception. Sometimes we get really caught up on the outcome, and if it doesn't go the way we want, we can get a little crazy. I can empathize. Heck, randomly click any of the 91 blog posts I made in 2005. There is a 75 % chance the post you click will have something to do with my anger over the results of the 2004 presidential election or the actions of the newly re-elected President.
The truth is the majority of America wanted that man to be President, and the majority of voting Americans placed their ballot in his favor. They did this because we are free to vote for who we want and they used that wonderful freedom to vote for someone I did not want in office.
But guess what? The world is still turning. The United States of America still exists. I still think our last President was not a good President and certainly made some not so good choices, but some of the things my most vehement posts worried over have not come true. The caribou of Alaska's National Parks aren't being forced to leap over a giant oil pipeline as they make their migration routes. Other countries still want to be our friend. Heck, we may even get out of Iraq one of these years. Life goes on.
A few months ago I posted about how proud I was of most of the people whose candidate did not win this time. They sure reacted more respectfully and maturely than I did four years ago. I won't take that back either. But I will knock a small contingent that is acting far more insanely than I ever did.
I am of course referring to that section of society that still believes President Obama is the Antichrist, a secret-Muslim, a hater of America who wants a one-world UN-led government, and a tyrant who wants to rewrite the constitution as he sees fit. I am not exaggerating in the least bit about this behavior because everyday I have to read these words as these people's Facebook status. Well, I guess I don't have to log-on to Facebook, but that is beside the point.
The point is that many of these people believe our founders sailed to America on a boat made of Bibles, reached the shore of America for the first time only to find Jesus Christ himself standing on the shore waiting for them, whereupon, Jesus dictated the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and all other important government documents to our holy leaders who eagerly wrote down Jesus' words with penitent pen. As a Christian, I would love if that were true, but it is not. Our founding fathers were Christians and Deists, Agnostics and Atheists. The United States of America is a manmade country that some day will fall, and though I don't really want that to happen, it will, and we Christians will all be fine because our nation is not America, but the Church, and Jesus is our leader, not Barack Obama or George Bush or the Pope.
Jesus Christ.
I am only 27, but to be honest I figured that out five or six years ago. Unfortunately, some people, sadly a majority of them Christians, have not figured this out. They think that America is the Eternal Church. If they don't think that, they sure act like they do.
And to boil all of these people down into one caricature, I am talking, of course, about Glenn Beck.
Yes, at first I did not believe that such a person was real. But he is real and he is on TV every night. That scares me. This man is obviously crazy and saying things that are crazy, but people are watching him and taking everything he says to heart like it is the Gospel truth. Why are Christians so apt to put their trust in America and the Constitution and Glenn Beck, but not Jesus Christ himself? Are they even Christians? I hope they are.
Anyway...
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I have a big ego. Duh. If you've been reading this blog for five minutes, you know that. Heck, my About Me section just comes right out and says it. Most of the blogging I've done outside of the political and Church stuff has been about me dealing with that.
That said, I have to give some props to someone I can't stand: Kanye West.
Or maybe I should say "couldn't stand." I think the guy has just won me over. I have to admit, I do not like his music. I can't tell you one song I've heard by him that I've enjoyed. His personality irks me even more.
Why does it irk me?
Because his major issue is the same as mine. He thinks he is the greatest person alive.
Always on top of things, South Park recently ran an episode lampooning West's ego, portraying him as someone who could not process a simple joke without thinking it was about him.
West's response to South Park (which I've linked above) was not anger, but humility. He actually admits that he now sees he has an ego problem, often seems like a jerk to people, and wants to change. South Park made him feel convicted, and by way of him, made me feel convicted, too.
Kanye, neither one of us are gay fish. We are just two dudes who think we are the greatest people God ever created and need that same God's help to realize we are not.
Nice work again South Park.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Big News

Though I haven't always faithfully posted--in 2005 I posted almost once a day to a respectable-sized group of readers; now I post three or four times a month to barely a handful of readers(which is twice as much as the last two years combined!(I recently read an old post where I commented on my frequent use of parenthesis(Lost has been really good lately. This doesn't have to do with anything else in this post(I would love a Fleur-de-Lis Pizza right now(has anyone noticed that gas is quietly creeping up again?))))--I have usually posted on the big happenings in my life, and this one is probably the biggest yet. I am having a kid.
That's right, my family is about to increase in size by one-third! Crystal and I found out she is six-weeks pregnant. I will admit this wasn't planned, but is certainly met with joy, and I can't wait to see what other zany things God has in store for our lives.
And I'm not sure if my above math was right.