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Friday, July 29, 2011

Hasn't the Government Ever Played Civilization?

There is so much ridiculous crap going back and forth between both political parties (or three if you count that weird beverage offshoot) right now. One party acts like if we tax any person that makes more than $100,000 one more penny, they will move to China and never spend another penny in the U.S. again. They also act like if we tax McDonald's another penny, they will raise the price of a quarter pounder to $38.00. News flash, idiots: rich people will still spend just as much money if they get taxed a little more. Their purses won't grow magical chastity belts that magically take away their power to spend any money that they make.
Also, last time I checked, most major U.S. corporations aren't the ones hurting for money right now (don't use book or video-rental stores as examples!). If they get taxed a little more and raise prices inordinately, do you know why we won't be screwed? Because they are at OUR mercy, not the other way around! Stop acting like weiners! If they raise prices unfairly, we just WON'T BUY THEIR CRAP!!! If McDonald's raises the price of a quarter pounder to $38, everyone will just have to go to Burger King until McDonald's realizes this $38 burger thing isn't working out too well.
And idiots on the other side: this isn't World War II! You can't spend a bunch of freaking money you don't have. If you borrow $6,000,000,000,000 from China, you don't get 6,000,000,000,000 magic American dollars. You just now owe China $6,000,000,000,000!
Haven't you morons ever played the game Civilization? If you had had normal upbringings and a normal psychological make-up like the rest of us, you probably would have. And if you would have, you would know that when things go to crap, there is always one surefire way to fix them:
There. Magic. I just figured the whole thing out for you. If my allowance is $5 a week, and I spend $4 a week, I get + one dollars a week.
HOW FREAKING SIMPLE IS THAT???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Why do we elect you idiots anyway?
And here are a bunch of phrases to make this post get picked up by search engines:
What's wrong with the government?
What's wrong with America?
What's wrong with our politicians?
How to fix the economy.
How to fix America.
How to fix everything.
Varginas (you have no idea how many people somehow stumble upon this blog by typing that word into Google. I have no idea why. As far as I know, this post is the first mention of "Varginas" on The Nicsperiment).

Thursday, July 28, 2011

All-Star United -- All Star United


A little less than half my lifetime ago, my little sister did one of those music club deals where you get like 20 CD's for $10. This was one of the ones she got, and I later inherited it for some reason. Pop-rock has never been my thing, and after a couple of listens I put it away. I dug it up again recently, though, and gave it a little ear time for this project. All Star United is a lot better than I remember it, but this genre is still not my thing. It is musically quite similar to Oasis (Wonderwall, a song I love, is not characteristic of their usual, Brit-pop sound), with poppy hooks, and a bit of an edge to the guitars. What sets this album apart is the retro feel throughout, with tinges of 60's psychodelic rock and even a couple of disco riffs, which don't sound at all out of place.
Unlike Oasis, All Star United's faith-based lyrics aren't about cocaine, but they are probably one of the stronger aspects of the CD. Frontman, Ian Eskelin, is a pretty great employer of sarcasm. La La Land features the winner: My Jesus decal does quite a trick/right above my dashboard I stick it/a good luck charm/it keeps me from harm/and saves me from speeding tickets.
Most of the best songs mock an impersonal selfish faith, while promoting a sacrificial, selfless one. "Smash Hit" references exploitation of Jesus in the same vein: A clever market plan/He didn't understand/That's all it really takes/He could have played for higher stakes/Now, somehow/we've gone wrong/This Jesus thing, it's a smash hit/It's packaged right/All stocks have split, it's a smash hit/It's gone worldwide

I don't know why all of the best lyricists in Christian rock are Swedish, but make of that what you will.
Perhaps the only flaw with the album is a personal flaw in me. This style of music just wears away at me. As far as the genre goes, I don't see how this could get much better, though. If you can listen to (What's the Story) Morning Glory? without just skipping to "Wonderwall" and "Champagne Supernova," you can easily listen to this, and Eskelin's lyrics are far smarter than anything the Gallagher brothers have penned.

1997 Reunion Records
1. La La Land 3:52
2. Bright Red Carpet 4:11
3. Angels 3:01
4. Drive 4:53
5. Torn 3:51
6. Smash Hit 3:25
7. Saviour of My Universe 3:32
8. Beautiful Thing 3:51
9. Tenderness 4:14
10. Lullaby 8:18

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Alice in Chains -- Jar of Flies


Layne Staley almost always took the blame for his actions in the lyrics he and Jerry Cantrell came up with, but at the same time, he was never apologetic. This probably helped Alice in Chains to be as listenable as they were (in their original form). This oxymoron is perfectly spelled out in what is arguably their best effort, and arguably one of the best EP's ever released, Jar of Flies. For the uninitiated who simply think of Alice in Chains as heavy, depressing music, Jar of Flies fits neither description, nor is it "grunge."
Jar of Flies is more of an airy, atmospheric confessional. It starts off with the trademark low Alice in Chains guitar sound, but within seconds, a talkbox comes in to prove this is something completely different. There are far more delicately picked acoustic notes than electric power chords--the electric is mostly used for playing lead lines when it's used. Even the darker songs are filled with space to breathe. "Nutshell" spells out all of Staley's faults, and even includes the haunting line, "Yet I find/repeating in my head/if I can't be my own/I'd feel better dead."

It's a really beautiful song, despite the depths it plumbs, but as soon as it ends, the mood lightens up considerably, even to the point that I would describe the music as fun. "I Stay Away" and "No Excuses" are both bouncy, happy songs, the former featuring soaring strings, and the latter as upbeat a rhythm as AIC ever played. "Whale & Wasp" is a lovely instrumental featuring interplay between a sliding electric guitar, picked acoustic, and strings (the whale gliding underneath). "Don't Follow" keeps the surprising pace, and features bluesy harmonica and singing, while closer "Swing on This" is literally a swing song--as interpreted by Alice in Chains. Of course the duality of this EP stays apparent throughout, especially in this closing song where Staley belts jauntily, "Let me be, I'm alright/can't you see, I'm just fine/little skinny, okay/I'm asleep anyway." At this point Staley was already wasting away from his heroin addiction, but his downplaying is almost believable, as if the shockingly good vibes emanating from this music are enough to sustain him. They do keep his memory alive and Jar of Flies timeless, but...

1994 Columbia Records
1. Rotten Apple 6:58
2. Nutshell 4:19
3. I Stay Away 4:14
4. No Excuses 4:15
5. Whale & Wasp 2:37
6. Don't Follow 4:22
7. Swing on This 4:05

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Alexandre Desplat -- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -- Part 2: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack


And now I have to put my money where my mouth is. Here is a soundtrack for a film I have only seen once, and must mostly judge on its own merits. Part 2 picks up immediately where its predecessor left off. The difference, of course, is that this film is the bombast the previous films have built toward, and while Desplat was afforded time to be subtle and intricate in Part 1, here he has to be blunt and intense. This means that this soundtrack is great for getting the blood pumping, but Desplat does find time to work a few new themes into the mix. The most emotionally moving is "Lily's Theme,"

though he does get a few other chances to shine in that element, most notably in "Severus and Lily" and "The Resurrection Stone." Mainly, though, it is full speed ahead to the end, which is a bit unfortunate for Desplat, a composer who has relatively just joined the party. I would like to hear what Desplat could have done with the other six films. Not that their soundtracks were bad--they were quite good as well--but Desplat's work has been so interesting, it's a shame that he is finished almost as soon as he was allowed the chance to begin.
POSTSCRIPT NOTE: After finally seeing the film again, it is beautiful how Desplat uses elements of Lily's theme at different moments for Harry, Snape, AND Voldemort, contrasting the two former characters who knew and understood love (and loss) versus the tragedy of the latter, who never did. However, I must say, after listening to Nicholas Hooper's soundtrack for Half-Blood Prince and this one, it appears that the producer's actually inserted Hooper's theme for Dumbledore's death here as a theme for Lily's death...and it isn't on this soundtrack. Still, that doesn't take much away from Deathly Hallows -- Part is quite good, despite the omission.

2011 Watertower Music
1. Lily's Theme 2:28
2. The Tunnel 1:09
3. Underworld 5:26
4. Gringotts 2:24
5. Dragon Flight 1:44
6. Neville 1:40
7. A New Headmaster 3:26
8. Panic Inside Hogwarts 1:53
9. Statues 2:24
10. The Grey Lady 5:51
11. In The Chamber of Secrets 1:37
12. Battlefield 2:13
13. The Diadem 3:08
14. Broomsticks and Fire 1:24
15. Courtyard Apocalypse 2:00
16. Snape's Demise 2:51
17. Severus and Lily 6:08
18. Harry's Sacrifice 1:57
19. The Resurrection Stone 4:32
20. Harry Surrenders 1:30
21. Procession 2:07
22. Neville the Hero 2:17
23. Showdown 3:37
24. Voldemort's End 2:44
25. A New Beginning 1:41

Monday, July 25, 2011

Alexandre Desplat -- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -- Part 1: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack


Movie Soundtracks are usually pretty hit and miss. Sometimes what works at the theater under an 80-foot screen doesn't work as an isolated listening experience. Alexandre Desplat's soundtrack for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows -- Part 1 works quite well in both situations. The largest factor in its success is movement. Even in the more quiet moments there is a propulsion and complexity of themes that keeps the listener engaged. The loud moments are also as thrilling as they should be. In addition to his own work, Desplat wisely brings back some of his predecessor's themes, most notably snippet's of John Williams' Hedwig's theme. Sequencing is also nicely done, more or less following the music's chronological appearance in the film with few changes. There is also a nice subtle build throughout the soundtrack to the theme of the Hallows themselves, which is suitably mysterious and exotic, with a dash of Spanish guitar and flute to make it a little different from everything that has come before:

Most importantly, Desplat accurately transposes the emotions of the film into music, all of the menace, magic, sadness, joy, and desperation. This soundtrack not only adds to the film it supports, it also transports the film into the imaginations of listeners anywhere they and their headphones can go.

2010 Watertower Music
1. Obliviate 3:02
2. Snape to Malfoy Manor 1:58
3. Polyjuice Potion 3:32
4. Sky Battle 3:48
5. At the Burrow 2:35
6. Harry and Ginny 1:43
7. The Will 3:39
8. Death Eaters 3:14
9. Dobby 3:49
10. Ministry of Magic 1:46
11. Detonators 2:23
12. The Locket 1:52
13. Fireplaces Escape 2:54
14. Ron Leaves 2:35
15. The Exodus 1:37
16. Godric's Hollow Graveyard 3:15
17. Bathilda Bagshot 3:54
18. Hermione's Parents 5:50
19. Destroying the Locket 1:10
20. Ron's Speech 2:16
21. Lovegood 3:27
22. The Deathly Hallows 3:17
23. Captured and Tortured 2:56
24. Rescuing Hermione 1:50
25. Farewell to Dobby 3:43
26. The Elder Wand 1:38

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Album Leaf -- In a Safe Place


Seven years ago, I included this album on my Top 9 list for the year. I had this little nugget to say about the album: "...all I can say is, if you like beautiful sounds pooled together to create music, if you like to just sit down, breathe out your stress and aggression and relax, then you will probably like this CD." I still feel the same way, the only difference being that I can say a lot more, and hopefully better.
In 2004, Jimmy LaValle took the already intimate and comforting sound he had previously forged and took it to Iceland. He joined with members of Sigur Rós, Múm, and Amiina to create an even more pacifying sound. Notice I said "pacifying," not "boring." Let's just get ridiculous with our imaginations here:
Say you had a group of friends--one played the...bah...nevermind. Just imagine being in your room or somewhere else you feel safe while people you are comfortable around play pretty, relaxing music for you. The music isn't boring--it's actually a bit emotional--but you find yourself easily able to lean back against the wall, shut your eyes, and forget about everything. It also works well for driving home from work on a stressful day, especially if you are moving through a wooded area during a slight drizzle...and so much for the "hopefully better" part. Anyway, here's "Another Day," a good representation of In a Safe Place as a whole:

2004 Sub Pop
1. Window 3:44
2. Thule 4:23
3. On Your Way 4:31
4. Twentytwofourteen 5:40
5. The Outer Banks 4:23
6. Over the Pond 4:55
7. Another Day [Revised] 4:21
8. Streamside 3:34
9. Eastern Glow 6:06
10. Moss Mountain Town 9:22

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Alan Silvestri -- The Abyss (Soundtrack)


The Abyss is a decent film, and Alan Silvestri's music works well within that framework. However, when taken on its own, this score leaves quite a lot to be desired. This is one of those soundtracks that is impossible to listen to in your car. The majority is too quiet to even be heard, forcing you to turn up the volume. Sudden blaring surges of bombast quickly force you to turn the knob back down, but then it is too quiet again. Headphones don't remedy this. Most of the music between the bombast just isn't too interesting. This disc works best when Silvestri is channeling Bernard Herrman or even Silvestri's previous, stronger work on Back to the Future. While the score has its moments, it only really works on the screen behind glowing manta rays and anthropomorphic arms of water.

1989 Varèse Sarabande
1. Main Title 1:31
2. Search the Montana 1:56
3. The Crane 2:00
4. Manta Ship 6:23
5. Pseudopod 5:37
6. Fight 1:46
7. Sub Battle 3:18
8. Lindsey Drowns 4:43
9. Resurrection 1:59
10. Bud's Big Dive 6:09
11. Bud on the Ledge 3:14
12. Back on the Air 1:40
13. Finale 6:46

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Aarktica -- In Sea


Aarktica return to the ethereal depths of their roots on sixth LP, In Sea. Jon DeRosa brings back the droning guitars of old and banishes the more polished, populist tendencies of his previous album, Matchless Years. Not to say that he doesn't make an attempt at singing this time--his vocals on the album-closing Danzig cover, "Am I Demon?", are meditative and haunting; on "Hollow Earth Theory," an album standout, wonder-drenched:

Outside of these two tracks, however, the music is on its own, but it progresses with the natural beauty of water flowing, freezing, thawing, flowing again. The title of this album could not be more apt. In Sea is a joy to listen to, and a true cleansing experience.

2009 Silber Records
1. I Am (the Ice) 3:54
2. LYMZ 4:46
3. Hollow Earth Theory 4:46
4. A Plague of Frost (in the Guise of Diamonds) 8:09
5. In Sea 3:54
6. Onward! 2:40
7. Young Light 3:02
8. Autumnal 3:14
9. Corpse Reviver No. 2 8:00
10. Install 3:32
11. When We're Ghosts 4:07
12. Am I Demon? 5:58

Aarktica -- Matchless Years


Before recording Matchless Years, Aarktica, aka Jon DeRosa, moved from New York to Los Angeles. The change of locales is apparent in the music, and doesn't exactly favor DeRosa's sound. Apparently, by the lyrics, the women of California don't favor DeRosa either. The first track, "Seventy Jane" and the entirety of the album, eschews DeRosa's trademark guitar drones. DeRosa goes for an 80's almost synth-pop feel on "Jane," and it actually works quite well, building up quite a bit of energy despite the fact that the closing refrain is "Oh Ms. Jane, for people like us, there are no happy endings...only endings." It's melodramatic for sure, but it also sure is fun to listen to, again and again:

Unfortunately, the next track is what I like to call a pretty snoozer, again employing none of DeRosa's guitar tricks, just a slowly repeated riff, some strings, and DeRosa and a female vocalist's tired singing. Fortunately, things pick up again immediately with undeniably the most guitar rocking song DeRosa has penned, "Arms." His romantic feelings here have gone from disappointed to vitriolic as he spews, "How your arms were ropes, and I'd wake up with them around my neck/build me up just to break me back down/no arms can break my fall." Over the top again, but it's pretty tough not to get caught up in the emotion of the song. Unfortunately he again follows a high point with an uninteresting five-minute track, picking back up with "Happiness Boys," which is weird, still angry, but almost as enjoyable as the other two standouts. Again, the ice of New York seems to have suited DeRosa far better than the L.A. social scene. He tries to make the best of things on the title track, singing wistfully of his old state, before "Rooftop Films" gently closes the album. Thankfully, he gets back to New York and his beautiful droning music soon.

2007 Darla Distribution
1. Seventy Jane 5:08
2. I Name You Sleep 5:06
3. Intro to Arms 0:58
4. Arms 4:21
5. Summer Tabla Dub 6:09
6. Happiness Boys 3:52
7. Matchless 6:37
8. Rooftop Films 7:17

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Aarktica -- Pure Tone Audiometry

If you visit Wikipedia and research Aarktica, you will find it is a pseudonym for musician/vocalist, Jon DeRosa. You will also discover that DeRosa started Aarktica after he lost hearing in one ear, using music as a means to explore the way he now absorbed the world around him. What you won't find are separate data pages for any of Aarktica's albums, and after listening to "Ocean" from Aarktica's third LP, Pure Tone Audiometry, you will probably be confused as to why. For some reason, DeRosa has stayed under the radar, even after creating music like this:

Maybe life just isn't fair. Either way, Aarktica has put out some beautiful albums, with Pure Tone Audiometry sitting at the top of the heap. Here he perfectly balances his spacey, dreamy guitar exploration with his pop sensibilities. He mesmerizes on the first track, rocks out on the second, goes back to his drone roots with the third, and induces tears with the forth. "Big Year" is a wonderfully sarcastic look at optimism, where the epically mundane music actually reflects on the topic. It is, like the rest of the album, extremely, tragically beautiful. "Water Wakes Dead Cells" sounds exactly like the title, and is by far the most challenging track, though perhaps the most rewarding, as the now conscious cells form together for the beautiful, slow building final track. "Williamsburg Counterpoint"'s guitars, drums, bass, violin, and cello build and swirl for more than 12 minutes, and they could honestly have gone for 12 more. This is the kind of album you don't want to end.

2003 Silber Records
1. Out to Sea 4:22
2. The Mimicry All Women Use  5:51
3. Snowstorm Ruins Birthday 3:56
4. Ocean 4:41
5. Big Year 8:32
6. Water Wakes Dead Cells 5:09
7. Williamsburg Counterpoint 12:32

What's the Point?

If you're not waking up every morning with the intention of being a better person than you were yesterday, why are you waking up?

Monday, July 18, 2011

+44 -- When Your Heart Stops Beating

Blink 182's famously bitter breakup is old news not only because it happened six years ago, but also because they are now back together, soon to release a new album. In the six year gap, dueling frontmen Tom DeLounge and Mark Hoppus each fronted new projects. Tom's was the extremely over-indulgent, deadly serious, over the top U2-worship, Angels and Airwaves. Mark, however aimed far lower with +44. Many, myself included, hoped he would continue with the old Blink-sound, especially considering he brought Blink-drummer, Travis Barker, along for the ride. The title-track lead single insinuated this as well.

And this is Blink...without the speed, energy, attitude, or life. Oh, and Tom doesn't sing on every other track. Song to song bleeds together in a joylessly Delounge-free melange, well-suited to a vigorous nap. Almost every song is mid-tempo, as mercilessly low-reaching as Angels and Airwaves' were far up and out of Tom's grasp. That said, the title track is fun, and the electronically augmented "Make You Smile," a track left-over from +44's first incarnation as a more drum-machine led and female-fronted band. The closing track also oozes out some badly-needed good vibes (even though the lyrics are still downers-ville). Hopefully the re-united Blink-182 will find Tom and Mark in a happier place, again making music that is actually fun to listen to.

2006 Interscope
1. "Lycanthrope" 3:57
2. "Baby Come On" 2:46
3. "When Your Heart Stops Beating" 3:12
4. "Little Death" 4:05
5. "155" 3:29
6. "Lillian" 4:38
7. "Cliff Diving" 3:44
8. "Interlude" 1:12
9. "Weatherman" 4:33
10. "No, It Isn't" 3:32
11. "Make You Smile" 3:44
12. "Chapter 13/Non-Musical Silence" 5:07

311 -- Greatest Hits '93-'03

Despite the fact that the music hasn't exactly aged well, the good vibes inherent in this collection of tunes from the first decade of 311's existence are readily apparent. It should perhaps not come as a surprise that the songs that fare best are the ones that do not feature any rapping. It's not the concept of rapping over rock so much as the delivery that doesn't work here, but rapper/backup-vocalist S.A.'s vocals gel greatly when he is instead harmonizing with lead vocalist Nick Hexum. As far as the music itself, it can never be said that this band was lazy. They shift styles restlessly, sometimes paying off with pop-reggae in "Amber," ska-reggae in "I'll Be Here Awhile", or the weird dub-section in "Beautiful Disaster," sometimes not quite, as in the attempt at salsa in "Do You Right." Overall, 311's Greatest Hits disc does have some chillout value even past the simple nostalgia-factor, though you'll be hard-pressed to get through the whole thing without skipping a few tracks.

2004 Volcano Entertainment
1."Down" (from 311) – 2:51
2."Flowing" (from Soundsystem) – 3:10
3."All Mixed Up" (from 311) – 2:59
4."Amber" (from From Chaos) – 3:27
5."Come Original" (from Soundsystem) – 3:39
6."Beautiful Disaster" (from Transistor) – 3:58
7."Creatures (For A While)" (from Evolver) – 4:23
8."Do You Right" (from Music) – 4:17
9."I'll Be Here Awhile" (from From Chaos) – 3:26
10."You Wouldn't Believe" (from From Chaos) – 3:41
11."Transistor" (from Transistor) – 3:01
12."Don't Stay Home" (from 311) – 2:42
13."Homebrew" (from Grassroots) (remixed by Chad Sexton) – 3:03
14."Beyond the Gray Sky" (from Evolver) – 4:14
15."Love Song" (cover of The Cure, from the 50 First Dates soundtrack) – 3:26
16."How Do You Feel?" (previously unreleased) – 3:02
17."First Straw" (previously unreleased) – 2:57
Listen to 311 - Amber

Friday, July 15, 2011

16 Horsepower -- Folklore

8/10David Eugene Edwards and company put out another theatrical, atmospheric release. Nine years ago I strugled through this album several times as a passive listener, however, for this review I sat down with headphones, and the album opened into an expansive, inescapable landscape. While heavily indebted to Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, 16 Horsepower add a unique alternative country and western feel to their work that makes the solid black album cover all the more fitting. Edwards' lyrics and delivery also give an authenticity often lacking in a genre populated by middle-class city-folk attempting to look edgy. When he sings that he shot all those men over a horse, I will certainly be the last to doubt him, much less his later pleas for grace. Folklore isn't all blood and bullets, however. "Single Girl" is a rousing, feet-stomping cover of The Carter Family original, and "La Robe a Parasol" makes me want to head back home to Cajun country.

2002 Jetset Records
1. "Hutterite Mile" 4:04
2. "Outlaw Song" (Traditional) 4:29
3. "Blessed Persistence" 4:06
4. "Alone and Forsaken" (Hank Williams) 2:49
5. "Single Girl" (The Carter Family) 2:35
6. "Beyond the Pale" 3:45
7. "Horse Head Fiddle" (Traditional) 4:50
8. "Sinnerman" (Traditional) 4:15
9. "Flutter" 4:04
10. "La Robe a Parasol" (Traditional) 2:14

I Am Going to Review Every Single Album that I Own

I'm serious. I figure I can do a mini-review of all of them if I try to pump out one a day on my lunch break. Why? BECAUSE. I'm sure I'll get tired of this eventually, but until then, it starts today, with an upcoming review of 16 Horsepower's Folklore, because I am going alphabetically by artist. I'll wait until a little later today to publish it.

The Appleseed Cast -- Storms

Best guess is that we don't make it to 2000.
That a solar event takes us by surprise in 99.
That's what our best guess is.
Analytically...that we're not gonna...that the Y2K problem is gonna be overcome by other events.

Well, they don't call you doctor doom for nothing...

I can't believe after eleven years this song can't be found anywhere on the Internet (EDITOR'S NOTE: after the post was published, someone uploaded the song to Youtube, so here is a link to that), so I figure I'll just host it here. One of my favorite songs ever. Maybe I should do a post on that sometime. Enjoy.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Reflections of an Old Man

In a few months, my twenties will croak out their last breath, and I will begin my fourth decade on this planet. Since that means my life is basically over, here are some observations:

1. I can't see anything. Why? What happened to me? I got glasses about four months ago, and that has worked out well, but when I take them off things look like an impressionist painting, or what I am just going to call the "Renoir" filter. This would be really cool if it didn't give me a blinding headache (and I'll get to the headaches later). Also, my vision just seems to be getting worse. I don't know if this is
A. I am used to seeing well with my glasses now and didn't realize how bad my vision had actually gotten before.
B. Having glasses is making my vision without them worse.
C. My vision is independently going down the tubes, and one of the many things that a teenager can supposedly do to make themselves go blind is finally catching up to me.
D. Aliens.

2. I'm tired all the time! This is the most unfortunate development. I used to never sleep, and that was fine. Unfortunately, my rapidly aging body suddenly needs it, and I don't really know how to do it. I can't turn my brain off, but I am so tired by night time, I find myself dozing off far earlier than I ever have, then suddenly springing wide awake again and not being able to fall back asleep. This is what I like to call the "Renoir" filter. I am trying to remedy this by excercising again, and running in the morning. Hope it does the trick.

3. Everything is played out. I have been trying really hard lately to have enthusiasm for things so I won't be like a hipster, who doesn't really enjoy anything. The problem is that I hear people raving about stuff, and it just seems like stuff that has already happened and was better. This is the scariest thing ever. I started saying the phrase "back in my day" when I was three (and I would have said it earlier if I could have strung together a complete sentence earlier), but I have still always been able to find things I geniunely enjoy and get excited about. I haven't really had this problem with books because I will never read all the good books in my lifetime, but lately music and movies have not impressed me as much. Lame.

4. It hurts! Everything hurts. I get headaches all the time. Granted, headaches are my lifelong nemesis, but everything else hurts now, too. My legs started hurting yesterday for seemingly no reason. It hurt to move. WAH! I haven't exactly eaten healthily throughout my life, but I do now for the most part. Hopefully, my renewed excercise patterns will help. Also,

5. This is what I look like now!


This is what I like to call the "Renoir" filter.
Things can only get better from here, right?

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

TV Shows in One Sentence

I hate when people generalize or oversimplify things.
That said, here are a bunch of TV Shows' themes summed up in one sentence:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer--Life is hard.

Angel--Don't stop fighting.

The Shield--The wages of sin is death.

Seinfeld--There's a pretty steep price for doing nothing.

Lost--Anyone can be redeemed.

South Park--Seriously, just chill out.

The X-Files--The Truth is the meeting ground of skeptic and believer.

The Sopranos--Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel was just a freight train coming your way.

Frasier--Smart people have problems.

King of the Hill--West side is the best side.

Any other ideas? Corrections? Peanut Butter Jelly Time?