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Monday, December 11, 2017

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter Review Posted to a Couple of My Five Billion Blogs



You can check it out at its rehabilitated home.

Or you can check it out here.

Or you can not check it out at all, and go to Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen instead. If you do all three (which would prove impossible, given my wording), do that third one last. Otherwise, your keyboard is going to get greasy, and your cats won't stop licking it. Your cats are saucy.

Friday, December 08, 2017

Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Roadside Monument -- I Am the Day of Current Taste


8/10

Whatever experience and skill Roadside Monument needed to pull off their musical vision, by their final album, I Am the Day of Current Taste, they have both earned it and learned it. The band's debut album, Beside This Brief Hexagonal, showed a band reaching for something beyond their grasp. They played a very simplistic emo-rock style, and yet tried to shy away from basic song structures, stretching their abilities well past their limits. On 1998's I Am the Day of Current Taste, the band stretch out the song lengths, but their playing and writing now fill the songs with good musicianship and interesting parts and shifts (hey, 1/4 of the song titles feature automobiles!).
Admittedly I picked up the bands's debut and final albums at a thrift sale after remembering that when I was a teenager, a lot of people in my circle were fond of them. I don't know about the album and EP's the band put out in between the two full lengths I have, and what kind of musical growth those showed. I do know that I Am the Day of Current Taste nearly sounds like it is performed by a different band than the one who performed on the band's debut. Perhaps the improved song-structuring and musicianship are also due to contributions from members of the band Ninety Pound Wuss, who helped out in the studio. Maybe they are due to the influence of Frodus, with whom the band previously recorded a split-EP (moments of this album certainly sound like Frodus). It's also obvious that Roadside Monument have realized that vocals are not their strong-suit, as they have mitigated their effect here, more often than not letting the music do the talking. With that said, the vocals do show improvement from the debut.
I don't know, I almost feel like it is not my place to talk about this band, like they were a part of some thing that I ignored, and now am sort of lukewarmly acknowledging. All that aside, I Am the Day of Current Taste is a solid progressive rock album with a more punk/indie feel than the heavier genres now more associated with that descriptor, and I like listening to it (not sure if emo applies here, as the hallmarks of that genre are largely abest). On to the next review...I think it's of a Roots of Orchis album...wait, no...it's a soundtrack?


1998 Tooth & Nail Records
1. I Am The Day Of Current Taste 7:01
2. OJ Simpson House Auction 6:29
3. Taxiriding As An Artform 3:50
4. Cops Are My Best Customers 6:25
5. The Lifevest 6:43
6. Egos The Size Of Cathedrals 4:11
7. This City Is Ruthless And So Are You 5:41
8. Car Vs Semi, Semi Wins Every Time 8:17

Monday, December 04, 2017

Roadside Monument -- Beside This Brief Hexagonal


5/10

"Emo is just rock music with bad singing." -- Jesse Smith, drummer for Zao (1994-2004)

That quote might not be entirely fair, but in many (certainly not all!) cases, I have found it to be true.  Roadside's Monument's debut, Beside This Brief Hexagonal, certainly does not break this stereotype. The vocals are harsh, nasally, and desperately off-pitch. The music is daring to be unstructured and different, and yet the kids playing it don't yet have the ability and versatility to play diversely enough to make much of it stand out (much like I don't have the ability and versatility not to end a sentence with seventeen prepositions). Much of this music is aimless, simplistic, watery noodling. Still, there are moments, like the crunchy, impromptu jam at the end of "Prozac Princess," which promise that once this band gets a little experience behind their belts, they might just takeoff like a rocket. Eh, that sounded dirty.


1996 Tooth & Nail Records
1. Oh So Fabled 3:45
2. Seed 2:48
3. A Girl Named Actually 3:17
4. Still 3:25
5. Prozac Princess 5:45
6. Lobbyest 4:56
7. Immersion 3:02
8. Greek Tragedy 3:56
9. Boasting In Weakness 2:38
10. Mothered Others 6:23

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

I Just Reviewed Another Star Fox Game


I figured, why not keep the Star Fox train a chugging? So I played and reviewed Star Fox: Assault...like three months ago. Here it is, finally, for the viewing public.

Read it here

Or here

Monday, November 27, 2017

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

It's a Banjo Tooie Review Relaunch

Remember how I secretly reviewed an obscure video game title four years ago, then witnessed the photo-hosting site for the review go bust and take all of its pictures away? No! Well, that is a thing that happened, and I've restructured that review to mirror the format of reviews I've written after it, i.e., it has jokes now, and new pictures.
Head on over to Classic Video Game Reviews to check it out,
or experience it in its now-being refurnished old home, The Nintendo 64 Museum.
Happy Thanksgiving!