Being John Malkovich (Film Review)

1999 Gramercy Pictures
Directed by: Spike Jonze; Written by: Charlie Kaufman
Staffing: John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener, Orson Bean, Mary Kay Place, and John Malkovich
MPAA Rating: R; Running Time: 113 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 5/10

There's a godless urban nihilism inherent in the vast majority of Charlie Kaufman's work that often precludes my enjoyment of the films created from his scripts. Kaufman's surrealist takes, which often drown any sense of morality in a vat of absurdity, frequently leave me cold. Despite being well-made, well-acted, well scored, and featuring some hearty, genuine laughs, the Kaufman-penned, Spike Jonze-directed Being John Malkovich is no exception. Rather than recount or breakdown the plot of the film, I offer this hypothetical:
One day, a man accidentally shoots another man in the head, and finds that the dead man's corpse makes for an incredible toboggan. The man rides that dead man's corpse down a mountain and finds that it offers the best, most exhilarating, snow-shredding ride in town. This impresses the ambitious new woman the man fancies. In fact, the new woman decides to go into business with the man, and the two charge others to ride the corpse down the mountain. The man also has a wife at home, but he doesn't care about her, just this new woman, and riding the corpse down the mountain. However, the new woman realizes that there's nothing she loves more than riding the corpse down the mountain with the man's wife. The wife feels the same, and even thinks about leaving the man so she can ride the corpse down the mountain with the new woman. However, the man finds a new way to sled the corpse down the mountain that gives complete control over the decaying carcass, and this impresses the new woman so much, she leaves the wife for him. Now, the new woman has command of the entire mountain, as she can control the man to get whatever she wants. She is going to ride the corpse down the mountain with the man forever. However, the new woman soon gets tired of the man and leaves him and the corpse for the wife. The man gives up the corpse too, but this doesn't impress anyone, so he tries to ride the corpse again, but falls off the mountain and dies. The wife and the new woman live happily ever after with the corpse's kidnapped child. The turgid corpse rots in the mountain sun. The end.