The Nicsperiment Halloween Recap

The Nicsperiment tried to make this Halloween count, and like that famous Sesame Street character, I marathoned EIGHT horror movies, replayed and reviewed ONE of my favorite horror-themed video games, and wrote a travelogue about my trip to a Halloween-themed music festival (though his travelogue contains more counting).

I'd like to document my thought processes, and at the same time, recap the insanity of writing that much material in such a short amount of time. Of course, I'd like to do that briefly, so here are my thoughts over ten days, all crunched together, like all the unopened tootsie rolls currently getting squared up for the landfill.

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Okay, cool Rosemary's Baby. I hear there's a really weird sex scene in this movie. Okay, this must be it. Wow, I did not expect that to involve both Satan AND chocolate mousse. Man, they made some great films in the 70's. Like, anything could happen in this movie. And the film print looks great.  If I could travel back to any time with a million dollars in my pocket, I'd go to the 70's, and live in this cool, wood-paneled attic and listen to records all day in a somnambulistic state. Wait, this movie came out in 1968. Dammit.
Man, Halloween. I remember watching this one back in high school at like 3 am on the Encore channel. I can't believe they put that channel on our basic cable package. Of course, being in high school, the main reason I watched movies on the Encore channel at 3 am was to see boobs. Yep, I remember the boobs in this movie, but by golly, I remember the actual rest of the movie like I watched it yesterday. Such iconic imagery. You rarely get such defined, clear films like this now...it's filmed so decisively...and this one actually was made in the 70's. Jamie Lee Curtis is both a legend and the truth.
Ah, now it's Friday the 13th time. So weird. This was a schoolyard-dominant series in the 80's. All the kids talked about it. You'd see Jason masks everywhere. The mask isn't even in this movie...truthfully, the movie isn't even that good. I can't even remember if I've seen it before. Until the killer reveals themself, everything feels like hackwork, pun intended. It's more the idea of a remote, lakeside-camp in the 80's, surrounded by forest, haunted by a masked-man, that resonates than the actual film.
OH, MAN, HOW COULD I EVER FORGET THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE? It's funny, I watched movies on Encore like Cat People and Lifeforce that were full of nudity, with my parents just a closed door away, but the one movie I remember nervously flipping away from lest they come out was this one. So damn intense. I mean, that last ten minutes. Jeez. Truthfully, outside of a girl getting placed on a hook, and some offscreen chainsaw mutilation, there's not much gore in this thing, yet those crazy cannibals laughing hysterically at their captured prey while the camera continuously focuses on her eyeball has to be the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. This time around, 20 years later, I was nervous my kid would walk in, and I was watching the movie on my cell phone, with headphones plugged in. Best tagline of any movie ever, and it's metaphysical to boot, cuz the one surviving character's mind is totally destroyed.
Now to some much lighter fare, where even though someone gets drug up to the ceiling and torn to pieces by an invisible monster, and another person is eaten, then puked out in a torrent of blood, I feel like I'm essentially watching a children's film in comparison to the last movie I watched. I realize I've legitimately never seen A Nighmare on Elm Street, but I have seen director, Wes Craven's other major hit, Scream, and this feels like a much looser, less professionally done version of that. Man, that ending is so goofy, someone should have stepped in and nipped it in the bud. Time for a couple less well known horror movies.

How about Candyman? Always wanted to watch this one, and the gothic, yet urban early 90's atmosphere doesn't disappoint. Man, Tony Todd is such a badass. I wish they wouldn't have added all these effects to his voice. It's already menacing enou...DAMN!!! DID NOT EXPECT THAT!!!! Are you tired of movies where the dog is handled with kids' gloves? Candyman just turned this dog into organic origami. How much fake blood did they have to use for this...DAMN!!! DO NOT MISS WITH THE CANDYMAN! REPEAT, DO NOT MESS WITH THE CANDYMAN!!! If this movie had an extra five million in its budget, and a slightly more stylistic director at the helm, it would be in the upper pantheon of horror films. As it is, I couldn't find anywhere to legally watch it. Not Amazon, not Hulu, not anywhere. I would have gladly paid money to do so. I hate using Russian torrents. It's a little scary how even 25-year old films (and this one having two sequels!) are becoming hard to find. I hope society somehow finds a way of better curating our collective film output.
No problems finding Hellraiser, though. Never seen this one, either. Holy crap, is it gross. Like, awesome, intentionally bad tasting gross. It's like the booger jellybean in the BeanBoozled box of horror cinema. And so funny, in a dark, obliquely understated way.
Time for some video games. Man, I forgot how scary the zombie sound effects are in Resident Evil 2. It's like they're coming two inches away from your ears.
Time to put a stake in the heart of my classic horror film marathon with The Exorcist. Man, you would think nothing could be shocking in this day and age, but this film's go so many shocking moments. And it's really, really good. These actors are pros. The 70's, man. Gottaa put some shag carpet in that attic, too...and live somewhere a little less humid.
Well, now that that's done, it's time to head to NOLA for Voodoo. Drive there items of note: Taco Bell's dollar menu is legit. Baton Rouge and New Orleans are too close to one another. New Orleans is still weird, totally unique to any other place on Earth, and stinks. Hey, if you were below sea level, you'd stink, too! I always wonder, when people come to this city, they're like, screw it, time to get so blasted I won't remember anything, and here's my butt, but are New Orleans citizens cool with it, not cool with it, or are they like, good to be home in New Orleans, time to get so blasted, I won't remember anything, and here's my butt. Hopefully, I'll never know. For now, I can't tell who lives here, and who's a tourist. I do know, I'm too old to ever attend Voodoo Festival again. I'm way too old to take my pants off in public.
Now that Voodoo's over, it's time for one last Halloween flick, that flick being the one that's currently in theaters, and literally called Halloween (no, not that Halloween!). My cousin already told me she didn't like it, but I'm loving it. Solid dark humor, great cinematography like the original, and an older, wiser Jamie Lee Curtis. Nice way to cap things off.  Now that I've seen Halloween the movie, it's time for Halloween the holiday...and what a great night it is. Good weather, my family is chill, and I'm on some chili dogs. But why stop the party? How about I stay in the spirit and watch the Castlevania animated series? HOLY CRAP!!! It's a great video game adaptation! There hadn't even been a good one up to this point. Like, this is legendary work that will live on for decades. It's great dramatically, it's great on a character level, the action is great, the direction is great, the animation is great, the music is great (and even borrows from the video game!). Holy crap, I just watched perfect television. That hardly ever happens. This is like an impossible series of events. Maybe I'm dreaming? But why stop now?...let's listen to Michael C Hall's reading of Stephen King's classic tale of horror, Pet Cemetery...wait, it's 15 hours long? Okay, maybe I won't be able to get that one in on time.
Hope your's was as enjoyable as mine. Signing off,
-The Nicsperiment