Christmas in Connecticut (1992 Television Film Review)

1992 TNT
Directed by: Arnold Schwarzenegger; Written by: Janet Brownell (based on the 1945 film of the same name, written by Lionel Houser and Adele Comandini)
Starring: Dyan Cannon, Kris Kristofferson, and Tony Curtis
MPAA Rating: N/A (TVPG); Running Time: 93 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 4/10

On TV, Elizabeth Blane is an incredible cook and homemaker, but in real life she lives alone in an apartment where she can barely prep a can of Spaghettios. This Christmas, her sleazy manager has an idea to grab some major ratings: Elizabeth and her family will host a heroic forest ranger, Jefferson, at their home, and she'll cook for them on live television. Unfortunately, Elizabeth's family is as fake as her cooking skills. Can she not only convince Jefferson, but the entire viewing public that her public image is real...or will a possible romance with the kind and earthy Jefferson tempt her away from the empty facade of her fake life and into something real?
76-year-old Arnold Schwarzengger has directed one film over the course of his entire career, and it's a basic cable remake of a 1945 screwball romantic comedy. 1992's Christmas in Connecticut is not a great or even a good film, but knowing an excited, cigar-chomping Arnie is behind the camera most definitely enhances its enjoyability. Dyan Cannon stars as Elizabeth, and she's a charming and lovely presence, while as Jefferson, Kris Kristofferson doesn't exactly give the best performance of his career, but still manages charm as well, albeit gruffly. The legendary Tony Curtis, though, is not so legendary here, but I'll blame that on the script, which left-turn transforms Curtis' character from overbearing manager, to "no one can have Elizabeth but me" creepy slimeball. The tone here isn't exactly consistent, but there are thankfully a few more positives in this film's ledger beyond the two leads.
The best is that some of the wacky screwball comedy is actually funny, as the cooking show crashes, and physical pratfalls ensue. I also appreciate the early 90s made-for-basic-cable ambiance here, with the fake snow on Elizabeth's set essentially commenting on the fake snow on the fake Connecticut sets for the film. Overall, I doubt 1992's Christmas in Connecticut has joined many viewers' regular Christmas watching rotations, and I must again make clear, THIS FILM IS NOT GOOD, but it does have its positive aspects, and if it's ever on late at night during the holiday season, I just might not change the channel.