Hocus Pocus (Film Review)

1993 Buena Vista Pictures
Directed by: Kenny Ortega; Written by: Mick Garris and Neil Cuthbert
Starring: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, Omri Katz, Thora Birch, and Vinessa Shaw
MPAA Rating: PG; Running Time: 96 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 6/10

Max hates his new town. He's stuck in kitschy Salem, Massachusetts after his parents have uprooted him from his beloved California. Even worse, his kid sister wants him to come trick-or-treating with her. When he reluctantly agrees, he gets much more than he bargained for. The good news is that he gets to spend more time with his beautiful classmate, Allison. The bad news is he accidentally resurrects three evil witches and now they want to suck out his little sister's soul...and sing showtunes.
The first time I tried to watch Hocus Pocus many years ago, I fell asleep. I was into the fun autumnal atmosphere and enjoying the film until the dang witches showed up. Led by a Bette Midler who's hamming it up so hard she could make a million Monte Cristos, this incredibly theatrical trio immediately starts chewing the scenery so hard the minute they show up...they could eat a million Monte Cristos. The witches immediately pulled me out of the film and I was soon eating Monte Cristos in my dreams. I can count the times I've fallen asleep watching a movie on one hand, and the other times were all at a much later time than that one. However, I was podcastically required to finally watch the entire film recently, and now that I've finally seen it, I understand why I fell asleep. 

I love the film's autumnal atmosphere. I love the small town, New England setting. I love Thora Birch's performance as the kid sister character. It's a character that is usually abrasive and annoying in most films, but Birch somehow came into the acting world fully formed and gives, frankly, a stunning performance that greatly outshines all of the older kid actors in this film. I like the way that heroism and bravery are held as high ideals, as the Max character (and another older brother character in the film's opening scene set in the 1700s) risks his life to save his little sister without giving his personal safety a second thought. Those are a lot of pros, but...
HOLY COW ARE THOSE WITCHES ANNOYING!!!
If you love Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy, and Sarah Jessica Parker when they are wildly and theatrically overacting, walking around in lockstep, and just constantly being on, then you'll have little problems with this film. If you find them even half as annoying as I do, this film is going to be a slog! I can definitely recognize Hocus Pocus' merits,  and I don't think it's a bad film...but when those damnable witches prance and screech across the screen, you couldn't give me a million Monte Cristos to keep watching them again.