Nuns on the Run (Film Review)

1990 20th Century Fox
Written and Directed by: Jonathan Lynn
Starring: Eric Idle, Robbie Coltrane, Janet Suzman, and Camille Coduri
MPAA Rating: PG-13; Running Time: 89 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 4/10

Petty criminals, Brian and Charlie, have a new, scary boss. They aren't the brightest two criminals, so their first thought is to double-cross this boss. The double-cross goes awry, and soon the duo find themselves hiding out in the convent across the street from the scene of the crime, with a briefcase full of money that's supposed to take them and Brian's sudden, love-at-first-sight interest to Brazil. Seeing no other sensible option, Brian and Charlie immediately dress up as and pretend to be nuns. Can this daft duo hideout safely until its time for their South American escape? Or will they find their habits too heavy?
1990's Nuns on the Run is dumb. That is no small surprise. However, there are two talented men in Eric Idle and Robbie Coltrane starring as its leading dumbos, so there are at least a few laughs from their readings of Nuns on the Run's not so brilliant lines. As Idle's love interest, Camille Coduri is charming, though the film isn't able to wring many laughs out of the "she can't see well" gag it milks for the entirety of the film. It's not able to wring out much of anything. In the end, I found that Coltrane's brilliance, even in this kind of idiocy, was the only thing that got me through (Idle is hit and miss here). Anyone who has only seen Coltrane as Hagrid in Harry Potter should...well, don't watch this. Go watch Cracker or any of the other great things Coltrane made for his native Britain. He's great in just about all of them. He's great in this, but Nuns on the Run is otherwise a dud.