Warlock (Film Review)

1989 Trimark Pictures
Directed by: Steve Miner; Written by: David Twohy
Starring: Julian Sands, Lori Singer, and Richard E. Grant
MPAA Rating: R; Running Time: 103 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 8/10

As a kid, I was taught that witches and warlocks were a very real threat, could fly around on broomsticks, cast spells, sacrifice children, and turn people into animals. Yep, the 80's were a weird time to be an evangelical kid.
One afternoon, in the summer of 1990, I was in Albertsons with my mom, clutching a pack of Topps baseball cards, when I looked up and saw the poster for Warlock. Albertsons had a video rental section in those days, and Warlock was the movie of the week. Here I was just standing in Albertsons, waiting to open my card pack, hopefully pull a Frank Thomas rookie, and then chew my stick of concrete, when all of a sudden a blond emissary of Satan was staring down upon me. I immediately looked away. Flash forward 29 years.
Here I am at my house, playing a godawful SNES adaptation of Warlock(my 2.5/10.0 review right here!), when I think, hey, remember the movie this is based upon? Let's give that a go!
So it's 1691, and this Warlock has been terrorizing the Massachusetts countryside. He's finally been caught by this wild-eyed, fur-coat-wearing, bullwhip-wielding, Scottish-brogue'ing witch-hunter, Giles Redferne. Just when it's time for his execution, the Warlock gets sent 300-years into the future by Satan. The Warlock ends up unconscious through the window and on the floor of the L.A.-to-the-core Kassandra. It's 1991 in the most awesome way possible, with distopian streets, synthesizer sounds, and a VHS sheen.
Before you can say Walkman, the Warlock's made a deal with Satan to find an ancient tome that will unmake creation, and he's cursed Kassandra to age 20-years every night to boot. Good thing for her that this wacky guy with a bullwhip has followed the Warlock from the past to her door.
Warlock is an absolutely charming film, taking the simple plot point from 1984's Terminator, of a hero following a bad guy through time, and running with it in fun and inventive directions. Warlock is billed as a horror film, and there are certainly plenty of eye-gouging, tongue-ripping moments, but the violence is all slightly muted. What's turned up are enjoyably silly fish-out-of-water moments, an insanely rootable hero and heroine, and greet nemesis-chemistry between Julian Sands' dastardly Warlock, and Richard E Grant's laser-focused Redferne. Meanwhile, Footloose's Lori Singer as Kassandra (with a "K!") absolutely steals the show. She's got a brilliant retort for any over-serious exclamation  Redferne makes, and her "this is 1991!" lessons, like how to abuse having a credit card or how to abuse driving a car are nearly worth the 103-minute run-time alone.
With Kassandra's red-tinted pixie cut, NIKE athletic wear, and "what next?" attitude, and Redferne's wacky aloofness and pure-hearted spirit, you've got a protagonist duo so cute, you want to put them in your pocket and take them home. Meanwhile, Sands delightfully chews up the scenery (sometimes literally!) and spits it out (also sometimes literally!). Under Steve Miner's enjoyably light direction, Warlock successfully morphs from a period piece, to a horror movie, to a road comedy, to an action film. Jerry Goldsmith lends a musical score that furthers his well-deserved master status, melding those previously mentioned synthetic sounds with a brilliant orchestral score. Also, the film's low-budget effects only further the fun. Everything just works.
Watching Warlock has been one of the most surprisingly delightful film experiences I've had this year. The movie I thought was a terrifying occult nightmare 29-years ago has actually just been a lovely, lightweight, escapist fantasy this entire time.