Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990 Film Review)

1990 New Line Cinema
Directed by: Steve Barron; Written by: Todd W. Langen and Bobby Herbeck
Starring: Judith Hoag and Elias Koteas
MPAA Rating: PG; Running Time: 93 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 8/10

Something is awry on the mean streets of New York City. Crime has skyrocketed, and the culprits seem to be...children. Hanging out in a lair full of arcade games and free cigarettes, the kids live under the rule of Master Shredder, a terrifying ninja who wears bladed armor. The best fighters among these children will graduate to the role of foot soldiers, becoming ninjas themselves. However, as evil rises, so does a force for good. Four man-sized, anthropomorphic turtles, named after renaissance painters, with a wizened anthropomorphic rat master, have become surprise defenders of the city. Can they defeat Shredder and save the children under his thrall? Can these...turtles gain the city's trust, even though they're...human-sized, anthropomorphic turtles?
1990's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles should not work. The original concept is ridiculous, and is one that likely should have never escaped the pages of the original comics, or the frames of the Saturday morning cartoon. And yet, this live action movie, featuring four guys in ninja turtle suits, works. While the screenwriters inject plenty of humor into the film, the humor comes from the characters--none of it is ironic. The plot is handled by the screenwriters and director, Steve Barron, with 100% seriousness. That mix of reverence for the bizarre source material, coupled with a sense of fun creates a classic.
The turtle suits, the final puppetry crafted by the master, Jim Henson, look excellent. Sure, it's clear they're rubber, but they're tactile and gritty, and the buy in comes early and easy. Same goes for giant rat, Master Splinter. And as much as there are solid laughs here, the serious tone helps the film's heavy emotional swings land. For instance, one of the turtles, Raphael, has a severe anger problem. The film gives time for a moment of fatherly care between Splinter and Raphael that ends with a quietly sobbing Raphael embracing Splinter. It's a guy in a ninja turtle costume being hugged by a guy in a giant rat costume, and for some reason it's more effectively emotional than the big scenes in most major dramas, where eliciting major emotions IS the goal, and guys in ninja turtle costumes don't get in massive, knockdown, dragout fights with armies of ninjas in burning buildings. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was awesome in 1990 when few critics understood it (but kids loved it) and it is still awesome 35 years later, when it is generally considered to be one of the greatest comic book films ever made.