Jetsons: The Movie (Film Review)

1990 Universal Pictures
Directed by: William Hanna and Joseph Barbera; Written by: Dennis Marks
Starring: George O'Hanlon, Mel Blanc, and Tiffany
MPAA Rating: G; Running Time: 82 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 2/10

George Jetson doesn't exactly do much at his job, but it's enough to be noticed and shipped off to run his company's new "Orbiting Ore Asteroid" mining colony, far away from Earth. Things don't exactly go smoothly there. His family seemed to prefer Earth life. The mining facility seems to prefer to being sabotaged. That's because some race of fuzzy cute creatures that seem tailor-made for toy shelves keep throwing a wrench into things because the mining facility was their home. Can the Jetsons save the fuzzy creatures and keep the mining facility running? Who cares. This movie sucks.
1990's Jetsons: The Movie is a miscalculation on just about every possible level. The Jetsons wasn't exactly the greatest animated sitcom to ever air, often standing in the shadow of its Hanna-Barbera brother, The Flinstones, but it works as an enjoyable childhood diversion. Not so the film, which doesn't really work as anything. The retro-futurism of the original sitcom is both of its time and timeless, but The Movie seems firmly planted in 1990. It tries as hard as possible to be as cool as possible to 1990 kids, rapping, putting a teenage singer (Tiffany, who I don't blame, but who is miscast) in one of the main roles alongside the aging, yet legendary (and sadly, dying voice cast), and even throwing in teenage romance. The main plot is even the same generic SAVE THE RAINFOREST pablum that so many children's films of the era served up (and James Cameron somehow repurposed to billions a few decades later). It all flops like an alligator gar in the Sahara, dying without making any momentum, and then rotting for 82 of the longest minutes ever committed to film.
I had the misfortune of sitting in the theater as a nine-year-old, watching this in the summer of 1990. I liked the sitcom, but experienced a sinking feeling just a few minutes into the film, as the bad modern pop songs started pilling up, and the jokes all felt flat. The only thing that perked up my ears a few times were the select moments that Astro, the talking dog, appeared, as he was my favorite character on the show. He's miraculously not ruined here, though his moments to shine are few and far between. If you were a kid in 1990, hopefully you saw Ducktales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp in the theater that summer instead. If you're a kid in 2025...or anyone...watch Ducktales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp instead.