Teaching Mrs. Tingle (Film Review)

1999 Miramax Films
Written and Directed by: Kevin Williamson
Starring: Helen Mirren, Katie Holmes, Jeffrey Tambor, Barry Watson, Marisa Coughlan, Liz Stauber, Molly Ringwald, and Vivica A. Fox
MPAA Rating: PG-13; Running Time:96 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 2/10

Leigh Anne's single mother works hard as a waitress, so Leigh Anne, who's about to graduate high school, has a plan to make it out of her small town and give her mom a better life: become valedictorian, so she can...get an English degree...and become a writer. Sure, Leigh Anne. I'm sure that will work. Anyway, Leigh Anne's teacher, Mrs. Tingle, hates everybody, but especially Leigh Anne. Tingle has made it a point to make sure Leigh Anne won't get the grades she needs. Leigh Anne, along with her dopey love interest, Luke, and her bubbly best friend, Jo Lynn, decide to confront Tingle at her home...and inadvertently end up taking the cranky teacher hostage. However, the kids will soon learn that even tied up, Mrs. Tingle is more than their match. What will happen? I'm guessing that Leigh Anne will become valedictorian and a rich writer.
Teaching Mrs. Tingle sucks. It's a lousy, boring, cinematic waste of time. Apparently, the 1999 film was supposed to be far darker, and titled Killing Mrs. Tingle, but due to Columbine that spring, the film was neutered, and its title changed. It's tough to see how a darker version of this dreck would have been any better though. It's not funny, not scary, not thrilling, not interesting. Katie Holmes and Barry Watson are both as boring as the beigest of beige paint drying in slow motion. Surprisingly, though, even Helen Mirren is mostly unwatchable here, as her character, like nearly every character here, is a huge drag. The sole reason to watch Teaching Mrs. Tingle is for Marisa Coughlan's Jo Lynn. Jo Lynn is an aspiring actress, and the bright and beautiful Coughlan is the only actor bringing any form of energy here. She's full of wacky expressions and imitations, flailing around like a screwball comedienne, giving the film a pulse only in the moments she is on screen. It's impossible to believe that any man would choose the mopey Leigh Anne over Jo Lynn, or that anyone watched the dailies for this film and didn't think, this Jo Lynne character should be the lead! Alas, she's not, and Teaching Mrs. Tingle is awful.