Halloween: Resurrection

2002 Miramix Films/Dimension Films
Directed by: Rick Rosenthal; Written by: Larry Brand and Sean Hood
Starring: Busta Rhymes, Bianca Kajlich, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Ryan Merriman, Sean Patrick Thomas, Tyra Banks, and Jamie Lee Curtis
MPAA Rating: R; Running Time: 90 Minutes
The Nicsperiment Score: 2/10

The world thinks Laurie Strode is so crazy, they've put her in an asylum. They think her brother, the savage, mask-wearing serial killer, Michael Myers, is dead, but Laurie knows better. Turns out Laurie was right, as three years after their last encounter, Michael shows up at the asylum and straight up murders her. That's right, Jamie Lee Curtis is front and center on the promotional materials for 2002's Halloween: Resurrection, and she's killed off in the first 15 minutes. Yes, Laurie Strode, the Halloween series hero. Anyway, the movie then moves to Michael Myers' childhood home, which has been lying in ruin over the last 23 years, since Michael murdered his and Laurie's older sister. Now, "now" of course being 2002, a pair of producers are filming a reality TV show inside, with cameras placed on the heads of each of the handful of mostly stupid and horny contestants. Michael arrives home, fresh from killing Laurie, just in time for some fun. Well, fun for him.
In the first 23 years of the Halloween franchise, there's a great film, some good films, and some bad films...but none of them are as bad as 2002's Halloween:Resurrection. The filmmakers kill Laurie in an opening sequence that has no connection to the rest of the film, which not only feels like a bad decision, but the kind of contract dispute-related in-film insert you'd find in a schlocky, early 80's film--except Jamie Lee Curtis herself shows up to get murdered as Laurie, instead of a body double! When the film moves on from Laurie and introduces its concept, it seems this could be prophetic filmmaking, predicting certain elements of the current social media-de-evolution of both culture and humanity in general...but then the film just uses this framework, which could have at the least made for some clever satire, to do the most stupid things possible. By "most stupid things possible," I mean that Busta Rhymes, as one of the reality show producers, gets in a karate battle with Michael Myers, calls him a "motherfucker," and kicks him out a window. Resurrection is the epitome of early 00's garbage. Goodbye, nifty, late 90's production values of the previous film, H20. Hello, filthy, post 9/11 visual malaise.
The only way that Resurrection can be enjoyed, and it is a minimal enjoyment, is by appreciating its badness. It's so bad. It's so, so bad. However, unlike some of the previous series nadirs, like The Curse of Michael Myers, Resurrection never gets batshit crazy enough to be entertaining. Myers shows up where some young, horny, attractive people are, and kills all but a couple of them before being neutralized. The end. I'm having a tough time not ending on a "should have stayed dead" joke.